For the first time, this year, I didn't get to go down to the cemetery to visit and plant some flowers for Mother's Day. Maybe being under the weather was a blessing because we had freeze warnings for a few nights in a row and the flowers wouldn't have made it.
I plan on going down this weekend.
Let me tell you a little something about my Moms.
She was a great woman. Funny. Sarcastic. Just had the type of personality that would draw people to her.
Sure, when I was younger we would butt heads. Not to many teen-agers don't do that with their parents.
Sure, after she got sick, we would butt heads because I didn't want to lose her.
I remember our road trips. Just her and I.
We would pack up and hit the road for a few days and go and see her Aunt (my Great Aunt) on the show circuit. I loved those trips. Most of the time we would get lost, but would find our way there.
We would go down to the casino and spend the night. This was our time. I remember the first time I took her there. She was scared.
But she had a blast.
I would wake up in the middle of the night and she would be back downstairs at one of the machine's again. I could go out into the hallway, look over the railing and there she would be sitting, and just like she knew, she would look up and wave. I would either get dressed and go down and join her or go back to bed and let her have her own time.
After she got sick, we still went. I would wake up in the middle of the night and look to where she was sleeping, and she would be there.
Oh how I longed for those times when she would be downstairs at a machine.
She liked to play the wheel. I would get her there, rub her head for luck and then go and find a machine to play. It never worked for me, but I'll be damned everytime I went to check on her she would have a stack of chips in front of her.
I miss our times.
A friend and I have gone down to the casino a few times since, and it just isn't the same, and I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate me rubbing her head for luck.
I have time with Mom now. Spend some time talking with her. Telling her I miss her. Telling her I need her. I know she is listening.
I know she is keeping an eye on and holding the little ones we have lost.
At her funeral the minister was talking about Moms being President of the Auxilliary.
The Secret Society.
No one knew who the members were.
Or how to join.
At a time when people were crying and sobbing, you could hear those same people giggle or see a smile when the Secret Society was mentioned.
We lost Moms right before Christmas in 2004.
Sometimes it is hard to believe that she is gone.
There are times when the phone rings I hope it is her on the other end.
Without me knowing, hubby programmed his Mom's phone number into the phone and put it under Mom. One day the phone rang and it said Mom on the face. For a second I hesitated about answering it.
So for my Moms, my best friend, the keeper of all I told her, I Love You.
I Miss You.
Happy Mother's Day.
Oh, and thank you for saying "I hope when you have kids you have one just like you."